May 2013
zfitzgerald:
I’m a nerd, but not in the useful “you’ll all be working for me one day when I invent jet packs” way. I’m a nerd in the “I have very strong opinions about history and literature and will yell them at you if you give me even the slightest opportunity” way. And that one does not pay well.
quazza:
i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence
sfux:
i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
jesspinkman:
being a pessimist is great i’m always either right or pleasantly surprised
#the optimistic look on pessimism
do you ever go through those phases where you just don’t feel like talking to anyone for a few days and it’s not because you’re mad or anything you just don’t feel like talking???
bmoburns:
preteenager:
HOW DOES POPCORN EVEN DO THAT THING
HERE I SHOW YOU THE THING
wimpynoodle:
I’M NOT EVEN GOOD AT THINGS I’M GOOD AT
beartier:
goinghamilton:
justin timberlake should make cereal he could call them justin timberflakes
#bringing sexy back to a well-balanced breakfast
whatladybird:
my inner voice is a crotchety eighty-year old
vampirequeen:
bonnibelbubblegum:
IRAN OUT OF DORITOS
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
my grandma put a little piece of her birthday cake in the garbage can and i was like why the heck did you do that and she said “it’s important to leave some for the raccoons because what if it’s a raccoon’s birthday and no one remembers??”
deanprincesster:
it’s so weird how grapes don’t really taste like anything on the outside. like if you just put a grape in your mouth it doesn’t have a taste. but then you bite down and you’re like whoa. that’s a grape
sunshineface0014:
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
Embarrassment Embassy: michaonthemoon: yaoibutts:... →
michaonthemoon:
yaoibutts:
I love how potato in French is pomme de terre, which pretty much means “earth apple.”
like what stupid frenchman saw this:
and said “zis petite légume looks like a, how you say, APPLE! hmmm… but it grows in ze earth… HON HON HON! MAIS OUI! C’EST UNE…
Me: wow i like this album
Me: i think i'll listen to it until i don't
chickenmcnope:
rnackenzie:
i wanna make a giant pizza and live inside of it
A Pizza Hut
doglets:
what? this isn’t a nude beach this is a nerd beach who’s ready to catch some .wavs
dreamingdusk:
people who can go to Disney World/Disneyland pretty much any time they want
mebeingweird:
bondoge:
do u ever listen to a song and u like forget ur listening to it and when it’s almost over ur just like what
and then u repeat the song but then it happens again
